On Birth

It's been a week now since Clara joined our family and I wanted to document the details of her birth story while they're still fresh in my memory. (Or I lose the little paper I sporadically jotted them down on while I was laboring. I recommend this. If you're drugged, your brain will be a little fuzzy.)

I was scheduled to be induced on May 1st at 39 weeks. We arrived at the hospital bright and early but they weren't planning to go forward with the induction until they did some blood work confirming that my platelet count (helps without blood clotting) hadn't dropped too low. (It had been low the day before and they won't do an epidural if it's below a certain cut-off. Being induced without an epidural- no, thank you.) But it had actually risen overnight so we were good to go!

Here is the timeline of events as I recorded during the delivery:

7:30 am arrived L&D

8 am blood worked looked good- dilated 2 cm, 80% effaced, +2 station, Dr. gives the go-ahead

8:30 am started pitocin, contractions become more regular but not painful

9 am, 9:45 am, 10:15 am, 10:45 am nurse keeps upping pitocin, contractions stronger but pain only 3/10

11:15 am Dr. returns to break water, immediate strong, increasingly painful contractions begin, continue on same dose of pitocin

12:15 pm epidural placed after contractions becoming unbearable... immediately heavy and numb from the waist down... at first I hated how the epidural felt, stuck in the bed from here on out

1:15 pm re-checked: dilated 4 cm, 90% effaced

-rest period where contractions continued and while I could feel them, I was pretty comfortable (although my legs never stopped feeling fat and tingly), I almost fell asleep-

2:28 pm nurse checks dilated 6 cm

2:52 pm nurse re-checks dilated 8 cm, (at this point the contractions were semi-painful and I could feel immense pressure on the front of my pelvic bone)

shortly after... rechecked and fully dilated, +3 station, pitocin stopped, baby's heart rate drops, administered oxygen, doctor called, nurses frantically prepping for delivery, order NOT TO PUSH

around 4 pm... doctor finally shows after waiting around forever feeling like a baby is about to fall out between my legs, pushing begins

4:28 pm baby girl delivered after almost a half hour of comfortable pushing- seriously, this was the least painful part (she was turned sideways and was seemingly stuck until the doctor managed to rotate her with her hand and she slipped right out)

Immediately upon birth she pooped all over the doctor and me before being placed on my chest. She wailed for a minute or two while the nurses cleaned her up and brought her back. She was alert and calm and I held her as I delivered the placenta and was stitched and cleaned up.

The biggest emotion I felt immediately after delivery was shock. It was so strange to finally meet the little person that had been living inside of me! After a minute or two of soaking it all in we announced our decision to name her Clara Jade (even my mom didn't know what name we had picked out).

Dustin cutting the cord of our little cone-head...

Dustin's favorite shot...

Proud first-time Grandma...

And auntie...

And mama...

Grandpa...

Auntie #2...

And #3... (Uncle Jacob hasn't met Clara yet- he was flying back from his honeymoon in Hawaii on the day of her birth.)

The next few days in the hospital were wonderful. I couldn't get enough of my baby. I let Dustin go home at night but I barely slept a wink (which I later regretted) in anticipation of each time they would bring her in to feed and I would get to spend those precious moments alone with her in the dark.

Now here we are a week later and while things haven't been a bit easy, having her in our lives has been incredible. Pregnancy was rough, thankfully birth was easy, and the first week at home has been much more challenging than I expected, but she's worth everything.


Clara's first bath...

And here we are at 1 Week...

Things I love about not being pregnant:

sleeping on my back (even if sleeping is a rarity)

my appetite (food is wonderfully appealing again, and no more restrictions!)

eating (I can eat without regret- no more fullness, heartburn, etc.)

no more belly (as fun as the attention a belly draws is, it's inconvenient when you start shutting it in doors and can't sleep comfortably)

having a baby (having her here beats all the imagining)


Things I miss about pregnancy:

my immunity to cold (I hate being cold- I need to be pregnant every winter... which is definitely not happening)

baby kicks (but now I get to watch those feet in action)

my body taking care of the baby for me (breastfeeding round the clock is exhausting- placenta, I miss you)


Thoughts on being a mama:

it's overwhelming- nobody mentioned the uncontrollable emotions (largely inflated by hormones) you will experience postpartum- joy, stress, immense love, fear, relief, awe

have I mentioned yet that having a newborn is exhausting?

so far breastfeeding has come pretty easy, but right now it feels like a full-time job (I actually calculated that I spend 8-10 hours a day feeding her- and thus should be getting paid overtime)

baby cuddles, stares, and smiles (even if you know she's just passing gas) make everything you've gone through (and are going through) worth it

seeing how much Dustin loves his baby girl and embrace fatherhood is awesome

i still feel like i have no idea what I got myself in to

life as we know it really has changed

I know some people say they were ready for another one the instant their baby arrived. I'll be honest, I'm not there yet. Ask me again in a few weeks years? once my bottom heals, I've forgotten what it feels like to have a baby skull crushing your tailbone, and I've gotten some sleep

somebody up there must really love me to trust me to take care of something so precious and perfect

how much I suddenly appreciate  my own mother- she did this five times!